What Can I Do To Change My Life? EP:000

Posted on September 13, 2017 by Thom Byxbe

What Can I Do To Change My Life?

This question is simple, the answer is quite complexed. Especially, to those in the chronic illness community.

Let’s establish a foundation to the development of a healthy mindset. Living with the many ways chronic illness changes your life, places stress on your life, making you feel damaged, weakened, and even broken. As people go through life they develop active or passive attitudes depending on comfort and/or feeling in control of that situation. Often, chronic illness forces us into a self-protective, subconscious reaction by taking control of our emotional and physical surroundings.

To achieve this, we develop a Fixed Mindset.

FIXED MINDSET

A Fixed Mindset is when you need to look smart and in control while internally feeling weak and out of control. In order to achieve this, you develop a Fixed Mindset and you:

Avoid Challenges
Give Up Easily
See Effort As Fruitless Or Worse
Ignore Useful Negative Feedback
Feel Threatened By The Success Of Others

This Fixed Mindset obviously leads to stagnation and the feeling of being physically and emotionally stuck.

You want to change your life and so you have to do the opposite. Our starting point is Changing YOUR Mindset.

The key to any successful life change is a Positive Growth Mindset.

POSITIVE MINDSET

The very first and most important step is, change your thought patterns. If you are thinking negatively about life and all the things around, then you should change your thoughts.

To really change your life, you need a Positive Growth Mindset.

GROWTH MINDSET

Having a Growth Mindset you can change anything in your life. The view you adopt in your life changes the way you lead your life.

Having a growth mindset means:

Seeing Effort As Path To Mastery
Learning From Criticism
Finding Lessons Of Inspiration In The Success Of Others
Embracing Challenges
Persisting In The Face Of Setbacks

The result is a better sense of free will. You create a life that YOU desire.

POSITIVE GROWTH MINDSET

Keep a Positive Growth Mindset.

Dive deep into it and urge yourself to ask even more questions.

Every person is unique,
Every person is connected with everyone
Each person needs to develop his/her personal reality.

That should be based on what is real, valid, no matter the time, place, circumstances. Then, you can develop methods, explanations, perception suitable to your uniqueness, and compatible with the rest of the universe.

If you really want to change your life, watch for my next post “The 2 Minute Rule”

A Change Is Gonna Come…

Posted on April 11, 2016 by Thom Byxbe

People who know my writings are well aware that I am not a fan of IDIOT television. Please understand I am NOT anti-television. I am NOT a snob who only watches PBS and the BBC. I am not an arrogant intellectual who only watches C-SPAN and the National Geographic Channel.

I find value in SOME reality television. Not the kind that locks 10 people in a house and watches from hidden cameras to see who is the most disrespectful, which “contestant” has the least principles, who lacks the most manners or who has no values or moral code. I am a fan of reality television that inspires, or demonstrates the ability to succeed against all odds and lift up the human condition.

I am fundamentally opposed to sitcoms and other types of programming with foolish, idiotic, senseless, inane and salacious story lines. I am opposed to television that re-enforces the concept that John and Jane Average are: Absent-Minded, Absurd, Brainless, Brash, Careless, Carnal, Crazy, Delirious, Demented, Dense, Desperate, Disconnected, Dull, Empty-Headed, Flaky, Flighty, Foolish, Forgetful, Hasty, Hopeless, Imbecilic, Impetuous, Inattentive, Inconsiderate, Inconsistent, Insignificant, Irrational, Irresponsible, Loose, Mindless, Moronic, Negligent, Oblivious, Pointless, Preposterous, Rash, Reckless, Ridiculous, Scatterbrained, Senseless, Shortsighted, Sloppy, Stupid, Thoughtless, Trivial, Uncaring, Unconcerned, Unintelligent, Unobservant, Unreasonable, Unstable, Unwise, or Violent.

I attribute the NUMBING DOWN of America to the mindless, value-impaired, consumption-driven TV programming that America’s media giants are bringing into our lives and those of our children. This is done simply to get more and more advertising dollars no matter what the cost to the basic human fabric of our society. We are seduced into a trance-like state by subliminal manipulation. Commercial messages tell us that if we use “Spackle Brand” toothpaste we will lose weight, instantly become more confident and popular, we will become the perfect Mom or Dad and using “Spackle” to brush our teeth will drive men and women wild with sexual desire.

This mind numbing blight of “lowest common denominator” drivel is an atrocity and morally it is just plain WRONG! It is a travesty of the human spirit when business sells our souls to the highest bidder.

Right now I’ll bet you are asking yourself “I wonder how he really feels about it?”

Having defined my position on what is wrong with television today let me tell you there is hope! There are programs being produced today that allow you to become mentally and emotionally involved in a healthy, productive way. They take you on a thrilling introspective journey in the same way a great book draws you in. Weekly dramas and mini-series that portray real life experience

These shows let you sit at the sidelines of life and become a “Monday Morning Quarterback” calling game winning plays with uncanny accuracy. They allow you a sky box view of real world challenges. This is television at its best. Television that for a brief moment allows you to live vicariously. You can experience life’s lowest lows as well as life’s highest highs from the safety of your armchair.

Television provides a safety net not available in the real world. You remain detached enough to not be permanently scarred when you make a wrong choice, and you WILL make wrong choices. We know with our knower it is a make-believe world yet we work through the twists and turns of the plot and experience it as if it were real. Sometimes, most of the time, it effects us in ways we find hard to admit even to ourselves.

Every once in a while something happens that can change the course of destiny. Every once in a while something truly amazing happens…

A moment in time takes place where possibility meets choice. Where opportunity meets responsibility. A life juncture when a path is followed or denied. Divine inspiration is given – the opportunity to change lives presented. A script writer can choose to respond to the gift being given to him at that moment. A director stands at the precipice of choice, deciding how to present the story. The result of these choices will either be more mediocre television or a story that ignites man’s spirit and guides him to his destiny. Every once in a while that writer, that director, chooses to follow the guidance of an unseen hand. In doing so they take you on a journey that will change you forever.

In that one moment something magical happens…

“Change. We don’t like it. We fear it, but we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying, but here’s the truth… Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything.”

Dr. Meredith Grey “Grey’s Anatomy”

EPISODE: A Change Is Gonna Come (2007 – Season 4, Episode 1)

All of a sudden that program you are watching becomes the moment – the moment when you know that in your life “A Change Is Gonna Come…”

Low Self Esteem Can Be Cured!

Posted on July 14, 2012 by Thom Byxbe

Low Self Esteem?

Here’s what to do:

Low self-esteem feeds on negative thoughts so Don’t indulge in self-criticism. Why are you waging war against yourself? Read self talk and silence your inner judge.
You can choose to please yourself It is good to you care about other’s feelings but aren’t your needs just as important? Don’t neglect yourself!
Don’t try to be like someone else. This leads to lack of self-worth and confidence. You are unique and you cannot be someone else. Strive to improve but don’t criticise yourself for not being as successful, beautiful, slim or as popular as someone else.
Take life and yourself less seriously. Failure just means you are not successful YET. Everybody fails before succeeding, don’t look on it as failure but as a means to learning. Perhaps you just need a change of direction. Problems make you stronger if you strive to overcome them.

Self worth, confidence and assuredness increase when you Focus on your needs and desires. You deserve to live life as you want. Wanting self-esteem is not selfish as long as what you want doesn’t hurt others or prevent them from living life on their terms.
Focus on your successes. Lack of confidence feeds on your feelings of failure and inadequacy. Remember the truly successful things you have done in your life. Reward yourself when you do succeed.
Use positive affirmations and quotes. Read them when you are feeling negative and need inspiration.
Use visualisation to help you achieve your dreams and increase your self-esteem!
Focus on your strengths. Use them. You will succeed if you are true to yourself.
Work at achieving your goals. If you do this your confidence will increase and you will feel positive.
Your self-criticism will die to nothing as you will know even if you do not succeed you tried all you could. Do your best at everything you try.
Feed your brain. Read inspiring books – they will really help you. Not just any books though, read the best.

The above suggestions are steps you can take on the road to building your confidence and successful in your daily life. If you start on this road you need to keep at it. Others will sometimes knock you down so you need to be strong and listen to your heart.

Believing in yourself is all about focusing on your strengths. You must be honest with yourself and be true to your feelings. Don’t pretend to be anything that you’re not and don’t listen to others who try to convince you that you are wrong. Trust your intuition and your feelings to make the right decisions and decide today which direction you want to go.

Core Relationships

Posted on July 13, 2012 by Thom Byxbe

Our Core Relationships Define Everything About Who We Are
And
How We Live Our Lives As Individual Human Beings.

Our 5 internal core relationships are essentially our relationship with the various aspects of ourselves, and greatly influence our 7 external core relationships, our interaction with the world around us. Going back to the core is the only effective way to permanently transform ourselves and create lasting change in our lives.

These core relationships not only shape our thoughts and behaviors, but also our very perceptions of ourselves and our world, thus defining the opportunities we are able to perceive and the reality we experience.

Understanding our unique core relationships allows us to experience more freedom and empowers us to create more fulfillment in our lives.

Our 5 Internal Core Relationships

To better understand the mechanics of our relationship with ourselves, which is composite and complex, we can define separate but overlapping relationships with several different aspects of ourselves. These core aspects are Love, Meaning, Purpose, Power and Coherence/Integration.

Coherence/Integration

Coherence/Integration is the synergy of our fundamental aspects – physical, mental and spiritual, as well as the synergy of finer elements within each of those fundamental aspects. The correct function of the physical systems that make up the physical body is required for the health and well being of the body to become a serviceable power. The integration of the finer aspects of mind are required for coherent clarity and focus, and for the development of self-worth and self-love.

Love

Love can be defined as our ability to accept and integrate all that we are into a coherent and powerful presence. It allows us to transcend the illusion of duality and is the seat of our power to manage our lives and consciously create our reality. Love can also be defined as unity and harmony, beginning within us and extending infinitely outward.

Meaning

Meaning is expanded from our underlying beliefs about ourselves, the universe, our connection to it and relevance within it. Our sense of meaning is something we are constantly seeking to expand. Meaning produces resilience and clarity of purpose in life.

Purpose

Purpose is derived from meaning, from our definition of self and our connection to the universe which surrounds us. Without a clearly defined purpose we lack the clarity necessary for true success in life.

Power

Power can be described as our ability to master our lives in a way which serves us and produces the results we desire. Our level of Power is reliant on our other internal relationships with Love, Meaning, Purpose and Coherence/Integration. Authentic power derives from being authentic, or true to ourselves, which in turn requires that we know and understand ourselves intimately.

Our 7 External Core Relationships

Each of the 7 external core relationships is associated with one of the 7 basic areas of life (or aspect of our interaction with the world around us) which can be developed into a power. As individuals we have a natural affinity and interest with certain areas, and a natural tendency to ignore or avoid other areas. These 7 core relationships are arranged in a hierarchy of varying priority dependent on our interest in the specific areas. Knowing and understanding this hierarchy brings clarity to the apparent chaos in certain areas of our lives, explain why we express certain behavior patterns, and why we have been unsuccessful in certain areas in the past.

In each of the 7 basic areas of life our level of empowerment can range from extreme disempowerment to extraordinary empowerment. This level of empowerment in any specific area is not measured relative to other people, but rather relative to our specific needs, and the level of empowerment of the other 6 areas of our own life. Areas neglected become challenging, the more disempowered we are in certain areas the more severely we are challenged in these areas, with extreme disempowerment leading to challenges overflowing to affect even the empowered areas of our life.

Health & Vitality

It is pretty self-evident that our relationship with our physical body is important, as having robust physical health and vitality will obviously benefit us regardless of which areas of life we choose to specialize in. There are of course people who specialize in the physical realm of health, vitality, strength, endurance and beauty, etc. Some of them develop these qualities to levels where these qualities become a source of power in their life. World class athletes, super-models, health & fitness gurus,

Knowledge & Wisdom

Knowledge and wisdom are essential ingredients for success and fulfillment. Being empowered in this area simply requires that we have accumulated the knowledge and wisdom we need to fulfill our life goals. Of course, as with the other areas, there are those who are focused on this area and dedicate themselves to accumulating vast amounts of knowledge and/or wisdom. These people are often labeled geniuses, but in truth we all have our own unique brand of genius, its just a matter of recognizing, appreciating and expressing it to its full potential.

Spirituality & Evolution

This area is a particularly broad area, because although “spirituality” generally describes a connection to a higher intelligent order, our spiritual mission in life can be expressed in any of the other areas as well. Here the question of authority comes into play, as there is in reality no authority above our own because each of us is uniquely connected to the spiritual source. Disempowerment in this area would entail suppressing our desires because they are not condoned by the spiritual authority of the day. As Einstein said ‘my contempt for authority made me one”.

When we become our own authority, listen to our own inner guidance, and follow our dreams we become an authority unto ourselves. Extreme empowerment would be having developed a high level of awareness and connection to the higher order intelligence, being able to “download” information in the form of inspiration, and would also include an unwavering clarity of purpose.

Partnerships & Family

Relationships with family and life partners can be developed to a high level of power, or they can be disempowering. If we suppress or repress our desires for fear of losing loved-ones we are disempowered. If they are supportive and encouraging, mutually fulfilling relationships, then obviously they are empowering. The concepts of compromise and sacrifice have no place in truly empowered relationships, where each is appreciative of the others qualities, strengths and empowerment, while also accepting of each others weaknesses and less empowered areas.

Connection & Influence

Social connection & influence as you may have already guessed, can range from disempowered reclusiveness and lack of influence, to celebrity status with huge influential power.

Vocation & Business

Vocation in this context is far more than your chosen profession, it is your calling, or your self-defined life purpose. Some people know from a young age what they want to do with their lives, while others take many years to figure it out. In the end, we all have within ourselves a purposeful and meaningful calling in life.

Wealth & Finances

Financial empowerment is today one of the areas in which we are most pressured to succeed. Of course wealth is used here in the broadest possible context, including our accumulation of relationships, influence, knowledge, wisdom, health, self-worth, and fulfillment, etc.

Tag: inspiration