These Are the Things That Define You – Part Two – The Importance of Love

The biggest threat to any type of relationship is
misunderstandings.

Misunderstanding ourselves
and
misunderstanding others.

When you don’t like something then express it. Most importantly do it without trying to hurt someone because they hurt you. Instead, try helping them feel what you feel, expressed by both your words and actions.

When people understand
they usually do not judge.

The better you know yourself,
the better you can know others.

Spending time with a person is how you get to know them.

In the same way you must build a trusting relationship with yourself. You need to spend time getting to know more about you. You can never get to know yourself if you are surrounded by lots of noise, friends, and family, or if you are always preoccupied with things to do.

Being around others is vital.

We learn from their experiences and perspectives. It is just as important spending time alone, in peaceful surroundings. Peaceful surroundings doesn’t mean absolute silence. It means the absence of interruption and other distractions.

If you’re always listening to others,
you’ll just become the sum of
everyone else’s ideas.

Your deepest reflections cannot be heard unless you make time for them to be heard. Without really listening to yourself, you won’t have anything to keep you grounded. You’ll fall into all types of emotional traps. Most important you’ll find it difficult to resist the negative influences of others.

Of all the judgments we pass in life,
none is more important than
the judgment we pass on ourselves.

You may also want to use this opportunity to consider your life goals in all aspects: physical, mental and spiritual. You need to sit with your emotions and spend the time to distinguish them and label them. In the questioning process, ask yourself what your values are.

 

 

Core values will be things like compassion, honesty, love, kindness, loyalty, etc. Clarifying your core values will give you an exact picture of who you are.

  • Find out what makes your heart sing.
  • Find out what keeps you excited.

It is important your actions are supported by your core values and fundamentals. If not, you will find yourself in self sabotage. The ability to reach your highest potential is severely limited when you are busy self sabotaging!

Find out what inspires you. These are the things that define you.

Being with nature is also a good idea. You tend to connect better to your inner being, when you are more relaxed. The answers that you seek, while in a state of mental relaxation, surface more easily. You become clearer and clearer, in the intents that you sent out to the Universe(God). Because this intent is in perfect alignment with the real you, you do not experience any conflict or sabotage.

Time alone to
meditate and reflect
is productive time.

You cannot expect to function well physically everyday, if you are out of balance in other aspects such as mentally and spiritually. Very importantly, consider putting aside “me” time on a regular basis. I choose to spend “me” time meditating, reading books or simply just be with myself.

You must guard your personal quiet time and really make use of it.

This is your alone time with the Universe (God).
This is inviolable sacred time.

  • This is when you connect with your soul.
  • This is when you learn how to be at peace with the storms of life.
  • This is where you’ll find comfort and guidance.

This is what defines you.
This is when you know the importance of love.

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7 Rules to My Life, My Way!

I have lived with major depression, PTSD, ADD, Fibromyalgia throughout my life. I’ve walked the dark streets when I had no home. The darkness of loneliness competing with the darkness of the night. Many times I failed, I was rejected and I got hurt physical and emotional. I have accepted my role in my personal failures caused by these conditions.

Now this is what I  did:

I pressed the pause button to my life, refreshed my memory and made a clear passionate decision to change myself.  I follow 7 rules to change my life…

I follow the advice of my inner self:

I have passion and empathy. I always love to learn new things. I have the interest and commitment to do what I love.  There will be no regret because I am responsible for my decisions and actions. 

We always fixate on physical strength. Mental strength makes our life focused, planned and loved.

Meditation recharges me:

I meditate every day to make life laser sharp and free from distraction. I fight every obstacle in my life. I have failed hundreds of times. But, I get back up. Meditation gives me the courage and determination to work against the current.

[Tweet “I meditate every day to make life laser sharp and free from distraction.”]

Mental strength is key:

We always fixate on physical strength. Mental strength makes our life focused, planned and loved. What makes a bigger impact than talent or intelligence? Mental strength.

Research is starting to reveal that your mental strength plays a more important role than anything else for achieving your goals. That’s good news because you can do a lot to develop mental strength.

Less virtual life, More real life:

I am limiting my online activities. I now key in on my real life rather than a virtual life. I spend too much time on the computer. I am changing that habit. I spend less time on the internet. I have started to gain courage, experience new things, face my fears, socialize with authentic interest, and talk with strangers every day.

[Tweet “Less virtual life, More real life:”]

Imagine just before – the moment of your death:

All the materialistic thinking, fear, desire, frustration, failure will look meaningless moments before your death. Make the right decision for your life, never wait for others approval. One right decision can change your life. Whenever I am in a trouble, I try to think that way. Then everything seems clear to me. I make the right choice.

I withdraw from rat race:

I have officially withdrawn myself from the rat race of life. It does not mean that I have lost against the difficulties of life. I don’t compete with other people. My competition is only with myself. Every day, I try to top my previous day’s performance. I am chasing my passion. I am determined to reach my goal.

[Tweet “I have officially withdrawn myself from the rat race of life.”]

Anonymous help and gifts:

I love to help anonymously. It gives me pleasure. I love to donate money to poor families anonymously despite having my own financial limitations. Helping people is the best part of life. I feel happy to see the smiling faces of those people.

Write a gratitude list every day:

I am grateful to the universe for whatever I get from life. I write a gratitude list in my journal every day. I am alive, having sound health, food to eat in the fridge, a place to live, the unconditional love of my service dog,  time and tools to write, lead an independent life, get blessings from unknown people…

[Tweet “I am grateful to the universe for whatever I get from life.”]

A year ago I would have never guessed life would be the way it is now.

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Everything You Need To Know About Zen Meditation

The art of Zen meditation is a simple one. You don’t need any prior experience. The meditation is the experience. You don’t need to have read any books about it. The wisdom you receive from a Zen practice is original. It comes from the quiet space in your soul.

You don’t even need to know what Zen means. It’s not mystical or rare or even necessarily spiritual. It’s the simplest and most natural thing in the world.

Zen meditation is not a religious thing. Atheists practice and benefit from it in the same way Christians, Buddhists, and Muslims do.

Zen meditation has nothing to do with where you live or where you’re from. You can be anywhere in the world and benefit from it. Peace of mind is not geographically specific.

I believe even animals practice Zen. I have seen cats, monkeys, lizards, dogs, and many other animals behaving as though they were meditating. Not just staring intently at food bowls, but genuinely looking like they were actively seeking the quiet spaces within themselves.

I urge you to give it a try. Sit comfortably in a chair. Gently close your eyes. Bring your attention to the breath moving effortlessly in and out of your body. Feel how it ebbs and flows, like water lapping at the shore of the ocean.

If other thoughts come into your mind, simply acknowledge them and bring your attention back to your breath and how your body feels. Pain, pleasure, comfort, discomfort; just feel them. Experience these sensations without judgement about whether the sensations are good or bad.

Zen allows you to be aware of how your actions affect the world around you. This allows you to be more productive. A cluttered mind is like a cluttered desk. Makes it hard to be fully productive. Meditation clears clutter from your mind. It stops that endless wheel of worrisome thoughts and allows you instead to focus on how to move forward from where you are.

After practicing Zen and mindfulness meditation for over 20 years, I can honestly say I have benefited more from meditation than from any other single thing I have ever done. Seriously.

Give zen meditation a try. The worst thing that can happen is you feel like you wasted a few minutes of otherwise productive time. The best thing that can happen is that you’ll find a simple, free, and effortless way to make your entire life better.

Did you ever wish you could just achieve that peace of mind you keep requesting?

The art of just sitting in the mind, focusing on the breath, can bring awareness and enlightenment. This is the goal in the focus of the ancient Zen Buddhist practice of Zen or Zazen Meditation.a deep meditation The Japanese word for meditation, Zen, is a state of consciousness realized through the focus of sitting in a strong posture and focusing on breath to relax the body and open the mind. Breath is very important in Zen meditation as it becomes the focal point for you to allow the thoughts and stresses in your body to release their hold with each and every breath you take.

How to Practice Zen Meditation

Begin Zen Meditation in a quiet place, free from distractions. Place a small cushion or pillow on the floor. Sitting cross-legged on your cushion, place your feet on top of the opposite thighs (left on right and right on left) – this is called Lotus Position. If you are unable to maintain this position in the beginning, that is fine. You are welcome to sit with your feet tucked under you instead. Over time you will become more flexible and be able to reach the full potential of the position.
Once you are seated place your hands in your lap or on either knee in a restful way. Now you will begin to focus on the key ingredient to Zen Meditation – breath.

Allow you breathing to flow in deeply and do not judge how ‘well’ you are doing it. Just be in the moment and focus on the inhalations and the exhalations. Naturally these breaths will become more abdominally centered and natural. As thoughts and distractions flow into your mind, just accept them and refocus your mind on your breathing. It is okay if this feels difficult – as you practice it will become easier and easier to center your mind on the breath and nothing else. The goal is to reach a heightened level of awareness without judgment.

Once you feel balanced and sure that you have received enough from your session, you may slowly take in one final breath. For some this meditation is ten minutes, for others this could be much longer. Slowly release your position and praise yourself for giving you the time necessary to become a higher self.

Zen or Zazen Meditation practiced daily can create a calm and peace in your life – creating a happier more complete you.

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RikkiSpeaks – It’s Your World, Bring It To Light

You have made the decision to better your life, and kudos to you for this. It will take sheer determination and hard work, to achieve, but surely you’d already considered this when you’d made the decision to begin with.

Maybe you have chosen to be a doctor, a philanthropist, a house wife or even a faster clicking couch potato. Whatever your new dream, you should ponder priorities along the way.

In order to achieve your new goal, you must remember to bring it to light. Do you make it a habit to walk through your home with the lights off? Though you know the location of each piece of furniture,in the darkness, you may lose your own positioning. Sure there will be bangs, cuts and bruises along the way, but why add to it by haphazardly forgetting to hit a switch?

In each step to your new dream, there will be light switches.

Recognize, however, that it is a personal dream and your personal choice of where to illuminate. Sure, you may be able to see into that next room from the light belonging to the room before, but it will surely become dark two or three rooms in, without that easy to do click. Why blindly stumble through, to the point where you cannot see even a switch, or worse a brittle glass table?

An effortless switch is all you need to detect what is in the foreground. Always search for what is necessary to get yourself through to the next area. Often, the rooms you visit will become more difficult with each passing threshold. Assure your self plenty of time to get past each obstruction. When you come to the last room,you will be perplexed to find that it was well worth the band-aids it took to get there

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5 Reasons You Procrastinate and How to Overcome Them

Procrastination: To delay, stall, hesitate, put off, or lag.

We’ve all suffered from procrastination at one time or another. Probably the worst part about procrastination is its uncanny ability to rob of us time, while simultaneously making us feel miserable about it. As much as we may dread the task we’re avoiding, putting it off rarely provides much relief. We know we’re just delaying the inevitable – sometimes with serious consequences.

If you doubt this, let me refer you to a good friend of mine who kept putting off scheduling his vasectomy. It wasn’t until his family grew by “one more bundle of joy” that he finally had the guts (aren’t you glad I didn’t say balls) to schedule the procedure. Of course my friend loves his kids and wouldn’t change a thing. But now, more than ever, he understands that delaying action can sometimes have sobering outcomes.

One of the major challenges with overcoming procrastination is that there’s no single cause, and therefore no single solution. The key to moving beyond procrastination is learning how to clearly identify what particular type of procrastination is plaguing you. That way you can focus on the appropriate remedy.

Below I have listed 5 common causes of procrastination and strategies for conquering them:

Repulsive Tasks: Let’s face it, some tasks just aren’t any fun. Paying bills, cleaning the garage, washing dishes are all activities that rank pretty low on my list of favorite things to do. But that doesn’t matter – some things just have to be done.

One strategy I’ve found particularly useful for completing “dreaded” tasks is learning to BANJO. BANJO stands for: Bang A Nasty Job Out. And yes, even the musically challenged can apply this strategy. When you find yourself with a backlog of “nasty” tasks, chose just one per day and knock it out as your first order of business. Why first? Because saving dreaded tasks until last is great incentive to never get all the way through your list.

Mental Mountains: Complex projects or tasks that have many steps can be especially overwhelming. Not to mention the mind’s unfortunate knack of making “mountains” out of “mole hills.” Even tasks that aren’t particularly difficult sometime “seem” that way when you try juggling all the steps in your head. The key to moving past mental mountains is breaking larger projects into smaller, more manageable steps.

Try using the “Brain Dump” strategy. Despite its rather grotesque sounding name, the technique is quite liberating. First, grab a sheet of paper and start listing all of the steps necessary for completing the project. Then identify JUST THE NEXT step. Finally, begin with that step. Keep in mind, every marathon begins with the first step. If you focus on the whole process it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Remember one step at a time!

Emotional Avoidance:  Gaining traction on emotionally charged tasks is particularly difficult. Whether its fear, grief, resentment, or whatever, emotional obstacles are barriers that will always hold you back, until you decided to cross them.

Lack of Energy: Probably the most underappreciated, but very real reason many people fail get started on projects is that they’re just too tired. Life in the modern world can be exhausting. There’s so much going on, so much to do, so many things vying for your attention, that some days it just drains you.

That’s why, rest, exercise, and nutrition is more important than ever before. If you want to run at full capacity, you have to be well rested. Trying to tackle projects when you’re mentally or physically fatigued is a bad idea. The one time procrastination is actually appropriate is when you consciously decide putting off a project for the sole purpose of getting some extra rest. That way you can attack your project with a recharged body and mind.

Help is Needed: Some tasks are just too large for you to handle by yourself; others require expertise you don’t posses. If that’s the case, don’t kid yourself – it’s time to get help. As admirable as the pioneering spirit is, it’s not always possible to go it alone. Whether the job’s too big, you don’t know what you’re doing, or you’re just not any good at it, asking for help is sometimes the only way to get some things done.

Remember, nobody’s good at everything, and there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Sometimes it’s the only way to get unstuck.

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