Behavior Is Contagious – Especially With Fibromyalgia

People with fibromyalgia face many obstacles.

We live with fatigue, brain fog, chronic pain and other symptoms. We work to find ways to manage this syndrome. We seek coping mechanisms. Many fibro patients have overlook the importance of who and what we surround ourselves with.

  • This can have a dramatic affect on how we cope.

Conserving energy is an important part to coping with “Fibro Fatigue”. It takes far more energy to deal with negative people. Energy when you don’t have any left to expend.

Let’s look at who we surround ourselves with and the effects on our lives.

People You Should Remove from Your Life

  1. You have to cut the “downers” the negative people
  2. You have to cut out the “distractors”
  3. You have to get rid of “people who play the victim”
  4. You have to stay away from “know-it-alls”
  5. You have to dump the “drama queens/kings”

Neuroscience 101
Good and Bad Behavior Is Contagious

One study found that emotions circulate through interpersonal relationships just like the flu virus.

These patterns can actually be tracked statistically just like the flu virus.

  • Each positive person you surround yourself with increases your chances of being positive by eleven percent.
  • Each negative person you let into your life more than doubles your chances of being negative.

Understanding Why This Happens

A mirror neuron is a cell in your brain that fires both when you act and when you observe another person acting.  Interacting with other people engages your mirror neuron system. 

This brain mechanism causes you to copy other people whether you want to or not. If you spend enough time with anyone, no matter who it is, you will start to mimic their behavior.

This means you need to start cutting negative people out of your life right now.

Here is a short 2 minute video
explaining mirror neurons

Here are five types of people
to start avoiding now!

# 1 The “Downer”

Some people can walk into a room and light it up. Other people walk into a room and kill it.

  • Downers Are Those That Kill Positive Energy

They are those people who seem to have a dark cloud following them wherever they go. These people are unlucky, negative and always depressed.

Don’t feel bad for these people. Odds are:

They like being miserable
WHY?
They like the attention it gives them

You must drop unhappy people from your life. Why?

Because your happiness and your physical health depends on it. Research shows that being exposed to negative people pulls away neurons in your hippocampus. This is the part of your brain that is responsible for problem solving. This means that negative people literally rot your brain

Stop hanging out with people who suck away your energy

#2 Avoid Distracting People

Distractors come in a variety of flavors

  • There are those annoying people who drive you nuts.
  • People who make you focus on them instead of focusing on yourself and your mission.

Distractors are also those people that are truly amazing or really hot or incredibly brilliant.]

  • Those people who catch your eye for one reason or another.
  • Distractors make you forget about your goals and everything that you’ve set out to do in life.

A lot of promising futures
have been sacrificed to these distractors.

Some people drop out of school or quit a job they love, just to be closer to a distracting person. This allows them stay in that distracting relationship.

Others get hooked on celebrity gossip or get rich quick schemes

  • Everything that glitters is not always gold.
  • Most shiny things are just distractions and this can include people.

Don’t let any person make you forget that you are amazing – and that you have something amazing to offer the world.

#3 Stay Away from People Who Play the Victim

Don’t know how to identify a victim?

Here’s what you look for:

  • Look for people who preach self-sacrifice
  • Look for people who try to make you feel guilty for your strengths
  • Look for people who try to make you feel guilty for your accomplishments
  • Look for people who try to make you feel bad just because they are feeling bad

Victims are:

  • Masters of positioning themselves on the moral high ground
  • Using obligation to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.
  • People who like to make you feel responsible for their happiness.

No one is responsible for someone else’s happiness

#4 Stay away from know-it-alls

Know-it-alls are those people who will never let you live down past mistakes. They bring you down by using  the psychological phenomenons of “Imposter Syndrome” and “Negativity Bias.”

Imposter Syndrome is describe as the inability to internalize your own accomplishments. It’s that voice in your head that creeps up every now and then telling you that you’re a phony and it’s only a matter of time until people find out.

Negativity Bias on the other hand refers to your brains preference for negative information over positive information.

  • Never allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself.
  • Don’t let some” Know-it-All” use these techniques against you.
  • Focus on where you are now. Not on your past mistakes.

#5 Refuse to be around drama queens.

Drama queens/kings are those people who love conflict. They are addicted to drama and to winning arguments no matter the cost. Even if there’s nothing to be won. Drama queens love drama for the sake of drama.

  • They don’t want to win or find a solution they just want the drama.
  • Their minds are simple and their lives are boring.
  • The only way they can fill a sense of purpose in life is by creating drama.
  • Don’t let these people suck you into their drama.

Any time you spend trying to correct or even understand a drama queen is a waste of time. You are better off ignoring these people period.

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These Are the Things That Define You – Part One – Journey of Self-discovery

The term “Journey of Self-discovery” refers to a series of events whereby a person attempts to determine how they feel about spiritual issues or priorities, rather than following the opinions of family, friends or peer pressure.

Self-discovery is the capacity of humans to exercise introspection,
The willingness to learn more about their fundamental
nature and purpose.

If the only emotion concepts you recognize are “I feel good” and “I feel bad” you’re not going to be very emotionally healthy. But, if you’re able to distinguish the more specific “I feel alone” from merely “I feel bad” you’re able to deal with the problem.

Examining your life under a microscope can be uncomfortable and gruesome.

You will be grateful for starting the process of self discovery, because rewards unfold when you know more about yourself. Understand how you make improvements to your behavior, thoughts and emotions. Uncovering answers will help peel off layer-by-layer the negative thoughts that have imprinted in your mind. These negative thoughts and beliefs are your obstacles to inner growth.

You’ve probably never thought about learning words as a path to greater emotional health.

Words Seed Your Concepts
Concepts Drive Your Predictions
Predictions Regulate Your Body
Your Body Determines How You Feel.

The greater your vocabulary
the more precisely your brain can calibrate your body’s needs.

People who exhibit higher emotional expression

  • Go to the doctor less frequently
  • Use medication less frequently
  • Spend fewer days hospitalized for illness

[Tweet “The greater your vocabulary, the more precisely your brain can calibrate your body’s needs”]

This insight is directly connected to your relationship with others. Most importantly it’s also connected to our relationship with the Universe (God). What we believe about the Universe (God) and it’s expectations for us is vital to what we believe about ourselves.

Self discovery is not an a one day or a one week affair.

It can take a lifetime of building a relationship with yourself. Note that your inner self is not going to stay constant either. You are evolving all the time. Based on your self discovery at any point in time, you make conscious decisions for changes. Additionally, as you mature, you gain insights that make up the new you.

Self-discovery is about being mindful of who you really are, instead of what culture says you should be.

It is important to ask yourself what you want out of life and work towards it. Aligning with your soul’s’ purpose brings about fulfilment. Without a purpose and direction, you are going to feel like a ship which is going nowhere. I can assure you that if you don’t go through this process of evaluation on what your purpose is, you are going to experience regret while on your deathbed.

You need to confront your emotional issues and weaknesses
because they reveal the separation from the real you.

The real you is authentic, loving and nurturing. The process of self discovery is not just about unearthing nasty stuff about yourself. It is about honoring your strengths and abilities. As you become more aware of what you are good at, you lessen the list on weaknesses.

Learn to forgive yourself.

Negative beliefs tend to invade every aspect of your life. If you have feelings of low self worth, then you are likely to carry them in the relationships you have at home, in the office, with your friends, relatives and loved ones.

You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. When your outer self is aligned with your inner being, you will feel happy and free!

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Reach The End Of Your Rope? Tie A Knot In It And Hang On!

Life Gives You Rope To Tie Your Relationships Together

Ropes serve many purposes. Some are used to tie things together, others are used to secure an object, and some rope is used simply to be decorative. Life gives you rope to tie your relationships together, to form a lasso of security, and to use it to build webs of connections between you and the people around you. Your rope is designed to help you get through life, use it accordingly.

[Tweet “Trials Always Precede Perseverance – Perseverance Precedes Maturity”]

Your rope is limitless. Now use it to your advantage. When you have reached the end of your rope, it is not because you are actually at the end of it. You have reached a point to allow yourself to re-evaluate your place within the web of life. This is your point to re-evaluate objects you have lassoed yourself to, and the relationships you have tied together with that rope. Trials always precede perseverance, and perseverance precedes maturity.

Your Life Is As Happy As The Things You Tie Yourself To

When you have reached the end of your rope, tie a knot in it. Do what must be done in order to make that rope grow. Untie yourself from the bad connections you have tied yourself to. Release your lasso from unsecured objects. Make new connections to help you along in life. Your rope is endless, your life is as happy as the things you tie yourself to.

The Truth Is That Your Rope Is As Limitless As You Decide To Make It

Hang on, waiting for the next season in your life can be difficult. In that difficulty, you are learning to wait for a better time. Although you may feel like you are at the end of your rope, the truth is that your rope is as limitless as you decide to make it. Just as the winter melts into spring, and the summer eventually turns to fall, the cycle of your life is always undergoing a change of seasons. Your rope is strengthened through each season, trial, storm, and moment in your life.

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What Can I Do To Change My Life?  EP:000

What Can I Do To Change My Life?  

This question is simple, the answer is quite complexed. Especially, to those in the chronic illness community.

Let’s establish a foundation to the development of a healthy mindset. Living with the many ways chronic illness changes your life, places stress on your life, making you feel damaged, weakened, and even broken. As people go through life they develop active or passive attitudes depending on comfort and/or feeling in control of that situation. Often, chronic illness forces us into a self-protective, subconscious reaction by taking control of our emotional and physical surroundings.

To achieve this, we develop a Fixed Mindset.

FIXED MINDSET

A Fixed Mindset is when you need to look smart and in control while internally feeling weak and out of control. In order to achieve this, you develop a Fixed Mindset and you:

  • Avoid Challenges
  • Give Up Easily
  • See Effort As Fruitless Or Worse
  • Ignore Useful Negative Feedback
  • Feel Threatened By The Success Of Others

This Fixed Mindset obviously leads to stagnation and the feeling of being physically and emotionally stuck.

You want to change your life and so you have to do the opposite. Our starting point is Changing YOUR Mindset.

The key to any successful life change is a Positive Growth Mindset.

POSITIVE MINDSET

The very first and most important step is, change your thought patterns. If you are thinking negatively about life and all the things around, then you should change your thoughts.

To really change your life, you need a Positive Growth Mindset.

GROWTH MINDSET

Having a Growth Mindset you can change anything in your life. The view you adopt in your life changes the way you lead your life.

Having a growth mindset means:

  • Seeing Effort As Path To Mastery
  • Learning From Criticism
  • Finding Lessons Of Inspiration In The Success Of Others
  • Embracing Challenges
  • Persisting In The Face Of Setbacks

The result is a better sense of free will. You create a life that YOU desire.

POSITIVE GROWTH MINDSET

Keep a Positive Growth Mindset.

Dive deep into it and urge yourself to ask even more questions.

  • Every person is unique,
  • Every person is connected with everyone
  • Each person needs to develop his/her personal reality.

That should be based on what is real, valid, no matter the time, place, circumstances. Then, you can develop methods, explanations, perception suitable to your uniqueness, and compatible with the rest of the universe.

If you really want to change your life, watch for my next post “The 2 Minute Rule”

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Being Brave

5 Ways How To Develop Courage

  • The guy who jumps onto subway tracks to save a stranger with a train approach
  • The clerk who chases down a robber,
  • A passerby stops at an accident site to save victims:

When you hear stories of incredible acts of courage,

Do you wonder, would I do the same?

Some scientists say those risk takers are wired differently, Studies show genetics play a significant role in the willingness to take risks. Recent research finds environmental factors and emotions greatly influence risk-taking behavior too. Other scientists look to brain mechanisms for answers:

“The best things in life are on the other side of fear!”  – Will Smith

Being Brave
Free-Photos / Pixabay

A great example of this situation is explained by Will Smith when he went skydiving. He explained this “The concept of fear” is only present up until the point where he took action. Immediately afterward he was in the moment – after he left the airplane it was pure bliss.

Courage and muscle have a lot in common.

The more they are used them the stronger they become. Neglected they slowly become frail, weak, and atrophied.

 Make a list, a long list of everything thing that scares you and slowly tackle each one by one. Start small and build up. Just like exercising a muscle – exercise your courage. The more often you do so the stronger it will get and the more confidence you will build to tackle bigger and bigger challenges.

Let’s look at some easy ones you can try.

  • The Coffee Shop Challenge – Go to your area coffee shop, place your coffee order, and when you’re ready to pay – Ask them for a 10% discount.
  • The Eye Contact Challenge – While walking in public, make eye contact with the people you pass. Keep eye contact until one of you break it. It’s important that you keep an open/warm/positive expression on your face (you don’t want to look scary or crazy).
  • The Laying Down Challenge – Walk into a crowded place and lay down for 15 – 20 seconds. Do not select a place where you will be a nuisance. If someone asks what you’re doing, just tell them you’re taking a break and collecting your thoughts.
  • The Cold Shower Challenge This is one of my best discoveries:  The last 2 minutes of my shower I turn off all the hot water and blast the cold. It’s something that I do because I feel great afterward. I do it instinctively now, without hesitation or thinking of it, but when I got started I would get really nervous before doing it. On a lesser scale, it’s like that skydiving example – it’s scary before you do it, it’s intense while the cold water is flowing, it’s amazing afterward.

    “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears.”  –  John McCain

  • Public Speaking Challenge – There the old saying that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of dying. There are many sources of information across the internet. Why? Because almost everyone has a fear of public speaking. Toast Masters is a great way to practice! 

 

You should definitely find things that make you so nervous that you feel it in the pit of your stomach. The more you practice, the stronger you will become!

Remember:

Being Afraid fear alone
Gallila-Photo / Pixabay

There are many different kinds of courage required in life, and you will hardly find one person who has them all.

Some people are fearless when approaching girls/guys or standing up to bullies. Going to the gym as an overweight person, the safety of a steady salary to become an entrepreneur, quitting an addiction, ending toxic relationships, chasing your dreams etc.l

 Courage isn’t a habit you can form, but a choice you must make that doesn’t get easier each time.               

Now that your path becomes more organized and clear

You will begin to like you.When you begin to like you, you will do what you like.

[Tweet “When you begin to like you, you will do what you like.”]

If you believe in being brave, you will be brave. Just believe and become. But first have a clear mind to focus, remove the things pulling you back.

Scientists don’t know for sure if being courageous is something you’re born with; they also don’t know whether we can target the parts of the brain active in overcoming certain fears. What experts do know is that many different behaviors and traits define a courageous act, some of which can be learned.

[Tweet “Big challenges produce big courage!”]

Practice courage often. Display it by doing and trying different things.  Things Like being unique, or facing a fear. Big challenges produce big courage but small ones every so often maintain its strength.

Do what scares you. Quieting your fear of is putting yourself in the thick of it. Plus, by choosing to face your fear, it gives you a feeling of control.  Believe in your own ability to achieve a goal and a component of courageous acts.

Plan to be brave. Being prepared may help you draw on that reservoir of courage; the moment of indecisiveness is when your emotions come in.”

Remember the why. Courage is more than just facing fear; it involves taking risks for a noble or good cause. Focus on the reason you wanted to take an action to help boost confidence. When that reason is important or morally right, it may be the most encouraging of all.

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5 Steps to Unplug Your Mind

Mindfulness teaches us that the same idea can apply to our minds as well. If we’re in some kind of emotional funk, or if the solution to a problem eludes us, we can learn how to unplug our mind—even for just a minute—and watch how many issues have disappeared when we plug back in…

5 Steps to Unplug Your Mind

  1. Stop. The first step to unplugging your mind is to stop everything you’re doing. This begins by stopping your body, and giving yourself permission to do nothing for at least a minute or so. You might try saying to yourself, “Just for this one minute, I don’t have to accomplish or change anything.”
  2. Let the mind wind down. Now imagine that each of your five senses is like a door that lets information into your mind. Close each of these doors and offer yourself the gift of quiet. Your mind takes in so many sights, sounds, etc., all day long. For just a minute or so, let it rest. Close your eyes, turn off anything you were listening to, stop distracting yourself in any way. Then, see if you can quiet your thoughts by telling your mind, “You can rest now. Nowhere to go, and nothing to do.”
  3. Come home. Now that you’ve stopped and quieted your senses, come home to yourself in the present moment. Pay attention to your breathing and the sensations in your body without trying to do or change anything. Say to yourself, “The present moment is my true home, and I have arrived.”
  4. Practice self-compassion. See if you can direct love and compassion toward yourself in this moment. Having let go of all busyness, try saying to yourself, “May you be well. May you be safe. May you be loved.”
  5. This is it. Finally, you recognize that everything you need to be happy is already present in this moment. You are alive, and the gift of life in infinitely precious. You can feel that your mind is completely at rest. Now you can return to whatever you were doing, and see how different it feels after having unplugged for just a little while.

Read The Full Story Here:
A Meditation to Recharge Your Mind – Mindful

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