What Can I Do To Change My Life?  EP:000

What Can I Do To Change My Life?  

This question is simple, the answer is quite complexed. Especially, to those in the chronic illness community.

Let’s establish a foundation to the development of a healthy mindset. Living with the many ways chronic illness changes your life, places stress on your life, making you feel damaged, weakened, and even broken. As people go through life they develop active or passive attitudes depending on comfort and/or feeling in control of that situation. Often, chronic illness forces us into a self-protective, subconscious reaction by taking control of our emotional and physical surroundings.

To achieve this, we develop a Fixed Mindset.

FIXED MINDSET

A Fixed Mindset is when you need to look smart and in control while internally feeling weak and out of control. In order to achieve this, you develop a Fixed Mindset and you:

  • Avoid Challenges
  • Give Up Easily
  • See Effort As Fruitless Or Worse
  • Ignore Useful Negative Feedback
  • Feel Threatened By The Success Of Others

This Fixed Mindset obviously leads to stagnation and the feeling of being physically and emotionally stuck.

You want to change your life and so you have to do the opposite. Our starting point is Changing YOUR Mindset.

The key to any successful life change is a Positive Growth Mindset.

POSITIVE MINDSET

The very first and most important step is, change your thought patterns. If you are thinking negatively about life and all the things around, then you should change your thoughts.

To really change your life, you need a Positive Growth Mindset.

GROWTH MINDSET

Having a Growth Mindset you can change anything in your life. The view you adopt in your life changes the way you lead your life.

Having a growth mindset means:

  • Seeing Effort As Path To Mastery
  • Learning From Criticism
  • Finding Lessons Of Inspiration In The Success Of Others
  • Embracing Challenges
  • Persisting In The Face Of Setbacks

The result is a better sense of free will. You create a life that YOU desire.

POSITIVE GROWTH MINDSET

Keep a Positive Growth Mindset.

Dive deep into it and urge yourself to ask even more questions.

  • Every person is unique,
  • Every person is connected with everyone
  • Each person needs to develop his/her personal reality.

That should be based on what is real, valid, no matter the time, place, circumstances. Then, you can develop methods, explanations, perception suitable to your uniqueness, and compatible with the rest of the universe.

If you really want to change your life, watch for my next post “The 2 Minute Rule”

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Improve the Impact of Your Email

Want to know how to get your email answered? 

Need more impact in what you do?

Want more time? 

 WHAT EMAIL HAS BECOME

Depending on your work situation, email has become much more than its original intent. Email has become:

  • Your not-in-person meeting tool.
  • Your ass-covering tool.
  • Your chat window.
  • Your filing system.
  • Your database of information.
  • Your to-do list.
  • Your private social network.

None of these are especially “wrong” uses, but what happens is that by using this technology for all these purposes, it blunts our ability to be effective and to get quality responses from others. We’ve all had that situation arise where we try to get a response from someone and we either get a lame/vague response that requires another 8 messages to get everything nailed down, or the dreaded “no reply at all.”

Here are some thoughts on improving your email response and quality rates. Your mileage may vary, plus I’d love to hear YOUR tips in the comments below.

MAKE SUBJECT LINES ACTIONABLE

One reason people don’t respond is that you don’t prompt them to do your bidding. Here are a few sample subject lines to help:

  • YES OR NO: _______
  • 2 MINUTES TO READ: __(and the subject, briefly)
  • NEED YOUR DECISION
  • DINNER PLAN PROPOSAL
  • PLEASE FORWARD SUKHJIT’S LETTER

See how in every case, the subject prompts the reader for a next action? Now run to your inbox, check your sent items, and look at YOUR titles. I’ll do it, too. Because I get behind on this, too. (Well, that backfired. Here are some of the “choice” subject lines I’ve used lately:)

“Dude.”
“Happy Birthday” <– well that’s okay.
“You call me, right?” <– winner!
“Is there a way to have ONE product page for all these offers?” <– very accurate.

MAKE THE ASK AT THE BEGINNING, NOT THE END

This is a super secret great tip. Make the MOST IMPORTANT request at the beginning of the email. Lots of people try to fill the message with backstory. If you want, here’s a format for this kind of thing:

Subject: Would You Speak at a Special Event?

Body: Hi ________ ,

I’m writing because I want you to speak at a conference on ____ 12th, 20___ in Detroit. I’m prepared to pay your speaking fee of $____, and provide you air, hotel, and ground transportation as part of the deal. If you’re interested, please reply with YES, and the contact for your event coordinator/assistant and I’ll get the project started. Backstory is below.

—-

Backstory and Details:

…blah blah blah…

See how this works?

REMINDING SOMEONE TO REPLY

There are right ways and wrong ways to remind someone to reply. Here’s the least useful/good way: Email followed by immediate text/tweet.

Just don’t do that one, unless it was otherwise asked for in some way. Okay? Our inbox throws out a big red circle with a “1″ in it for a reason.

Now, what’s different than this is when you send an email and two or three days have passed (note that I said 2 or 3 days, and not 2 or 3 hours). Then, it’s perfectly reasonable to send a brief message via another channel to confirm whether that person got the message. Around that same time, you can always re-send the message, and tack on a “I’m not trying to be pushy, but just wanted to be sure you saw this” kind of message on top of the original.

Some people will be bothered/offended. Others will be okay with this. Related to that, don’t ever bother someone more than once for the same email. If they haven’t responded after the reminder, they’re either too busy, not interested, or whatever. You can’t guess on that, but you know the answer is “not going to respond.”

HOW TO GET SOME ATTENTION

Here are some quick ways to get someone to respond to your email so that you won’t need reminders like the one above:

  • Give more than you ask. Thus, your name won’t be synonymous with “needs something from me” when it pops up in the inbox.
  • Write less-than-300 words when you send an email.
  • Be the person who brings people business. Not introductions. Deals.
  • Respond when others mail you. (This should make sense, but it’s where some people fall down – me, sometimes!)
  • Stay connected via the various social channels, as well. It’s more likely people will feel connected with you if you’re commenting on their photos, or their tweets, or whatever.

Those are some ways to get attention. We’re nearing the home stretch.

8 WAYS TO IMPROVE THE IMPACT OF YOUR EMAIL

  1. 1 subject per email. Ask only 1 question.
  2. Brevity. Short sentences. Less than 300 words.
  3. Use plain text, or the simplest possible HTML. Flashy and fancy or stationary never help.
  4. Pick unique times of day to send, instead of during work hours.
  5. Use bullets or numbers to make your emails even faster to answer.
  6. Remove the “biography” or “liner notes” from your email and just ask what needs asking.
  7. Ask all the pertinent questions in the first email, instead of stringing them out. (Conflicts with #1, I know!)
  8. Make every reply either clear in the follow-up question or definitive in the ending of the correspondence. Work towards ONLY those two responses.

Those are the ways I know. I’m curious to know what works for YOU! Answer below in the comments section?

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Rikki Speaks – Upgrades for All! What About You?

In today’s world, it has become imperative to upgrade. Society has placed a high regard on updating your phones, your television, your computers and even your home. In a time where advancing everything that is held dear, riddle yourself this: have you remembered to upgrade yourself? Grab the tools because, for everyone, it is far overdue.

Taking the time to “upgrade yourself” is the far least monetarily taxing thing you can do. It can also become the most arduous of tasks. Is it simpler to deliver a computer to the shop than it is to look within and find what needs to be fixed? Is it easier to pay the repairman, for adding memory, when you need to work on your own? Do you allow yourself the same consideration you do your own inanimate objects? If you answered “no”, then ask yourself why.

Make it a goal to acknowledge your own faults, at least weekly. Name a day of the week that will be used to take ten minutes out of your busy schedule and stick to it. Forget the computer for a moment, and actually put a pen to paper and write a life changing goal to work on for the week. Don’t cheat yourself, as it would be like telling the repairman “it only crashes once in a while”, when it is a constant issue. Challenge yourself with provoking the truth. The following week, do the same, and compile it to the previous week’s goal. Don’t just write about it. Put a full aim into becoming the person it is your duty to be.

Continue in this way until you have a full upgrade of your sense of self and the newly acquired skills become your nature. When you have run out of ideas, enlist the help of someone who knows you best. Accept the constructive criticism graciously, after all, you wish to fix what’s wrong right?

Don’t become discouraged when you find a lot more than you expected. Everyone has faults inside themselves. The question is, do you have the strength to do a full upgrade where it really counts?

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Core Relationships

Our Core Relationships Define Everything About Who We Are
And
How We Live Our Lives As Individual Human Beings.

Our 5 internal core relationships are essentially our relationship with the various aspects of ourselves, and greatly influence our 7 external core relationships, our interaction with the world around us. Going back to the core is the only effective way to permanently transform ourselves and create lasting change in our lives.

These core relationships not only shape our thoughts and behaviors, but also our very perceptions of ourselves and our world, thus defining the opportunities we are able to perceive and the reality we experience.

Understanding our unique core relationships allows us to experience more freedom and empowers us to create more fulfillment in our lives.

 Our 5 Internal Core Relationships

To better understand the mechanics of our relationship with ourselves, which is composite and complex, we can define separate but overlapping relationships with several different aspects of ourselves. These core aspects are Love, Meaning, Purpose, Power and Coherence/Integration.

Coherence/Integration

Coherence/Integration is the synergy of our fundamental aspects – physical, mental and spiritual, as well as the synergy of finer elements within each of those fundamental aspects. The correct function of the physical systems that make up the physical body is required for the health and well being of the body to become a serviceable power. The integration of the finer aspects of mind are required for coherent clarity and focus, and for the development of self-worth and self-love.

Love

Love can be defined as our ability to accept and integrate all that we are into a coherent and powerful presence. It allows us to transcend the illusion of duality and is the seat of our power to manage our lives and consciously create our reality. Love can also be defined as unity and harmony, beginning within us and extending infinitely outward.

  

Meaning

Meaning is expanded from our underlying beliefs about ourselves, the universe, our connection to it and relevance within it. Our sense of meaning is something we are constantly seeking to expand. Meaning produces resilience and clarity of purpose in life.

  

Purpose

Purpose is derived from meaning, from our definition of self and our connection to the universe which surrounds us. Without a clearly defined purpose we lack the clarity necessary for true success in life.

  

Power

Power can be described as our ability to master our lives in a way which serves us and produces the results we desire. Our level of Power is reliant on our other internal relationships with Love, Meaning, Purpose and Coherence/Integration. Authentic power derives from being authentic, or true to ourselves, which in turn requires that we know and understand ourselves intimately.

Our 7 External Core Relationships

Each of the 7 external core relationships is associated with one of the 7 basic areas of life (or aspect of our interaction with the world around us) which can be developed into a power. As individuals we have a natural affinity and interest with certain areas, and a natural tendency to ignore or avoid other areas. These 7 core relationships are arranged in a hierarchy of varying priority dependent on our interest in the specific areas. Knowing and understanding this hierarchy brings clarity to the apparent chaos in certain areas of our lives, explain why we express certain behavior patterns, and why we have been unsuccessful in certain areas in the past.

In each of the 7 basic areas of life our level of empowerment can range from extreme disempowerment to extraordinary empowerment. This level of empowerment in any specific area is not measured relative to other people, but rather relative to our specific needs, and the level of empowerment of the other 6 areas of our own life. Areas neglected become challenging, the more disempowered we are in certain areas the more severely we are challenged in these areas, with extreme disempowerment leading to challenges overflowing to affect even the empowered areas of our life.

Health & Vitality

It is pretty self-evident that our relationship with our physical body is important, as having robust physical health and vitality will obviously benefit us regardless of which areas of life we choose to specialize in. There are of course people who specialize in the physical realm of health, vitality, strength, endurance and beauty, etc. Some of them develop these qualities to levels where these qualities become a source of power in their life. World class athletes, super-models, health & fitness gurus,

Knowledge & Wisdom

Knowledge and wisdom are essential ingredients for success and fulfillment. Being empowered in this area simply requires that we have accumulated the knowledge and wisdom we need to fulfill our life goals. Of course, as with the other areas, there are those who are focused on this area and dedicate themselves to accumulating vast amounts of knowledge and/or wisdom. These people are often labeled geniuses, but in truth we all have our own unique brand of genius, its just a matter of recognizing, appreciating and expressing it to its full potential.

Spirituality & Evolution

This area is a particularly broad area, because although “spirituality” generally describes a connection to a higher intelligent order, our spiritual mission in life can be expressed in any of the other areas as well. Here the question of authority comes into play, as there is in reality no authority above our own because each of us is uniquely connected to the spiritual source. Disempowerment in this area would entail suppressing our desires because they are not condoned by the spiritual authority of the day. As Einstein said ‘my contempt for authority made me one”.

When we become our own authority, listen to our own inner guidance, and follow our dreams we become an authority unto ourselves. Extreme empowerment would be having developed a high level of awareness and connection to the higher order intelligence, being able to “download” information in the form of inspiration, and would also include an unwavering clarity of purpose.

Partnerships & Family

Relationships with family and life partners can be developed to a high level of power, or they can be disempowering. If we suppress or repress our desires for fear of losing loved-ones we are disempowered. If they are supportive and encouraging, mutually fulfilling relationships, then obviously they are empowering. The concepts of compromise and sacrifice have no place in truly empowered relationships, where each is appreciative of the others qualities, strengths and empowerment, while also accepting of each others weaknesses and less empowered areas.

Connection & Influence

Social connection & influence as you may have already guessed, can range from disempowered reclusiveness and lack of influence, to celebrity status with huge influential power.

  

  

Vocation & Business

Vocation in this context is far more than your chosen profession, it is your calling, or your self-defined life purpose. Some people know from a young age what they want to do with their lives, while others take many years to figure it out. In the end, we all have within ourselves a purposeful and meaningful calling in life.

  

Wealth & Finances

Financial empowerment is today one of the areas in which we are most pressured to succeed. Of course wealth is used here in the broadest possible context, including our accumulation of relationships, influence, knowledge, wisdom, health, self-worth, and fulfillment, etc.

  

  

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The “Right” Path

Religion is one of the two taboo subjects that many of us have been told, often at a young age, not to discuss if we wish to avoid offending anyone (the other is politics), yet sooner or later it often comes up in discussions. Many people feel a need to belong to some form of religion. I am not going to say that it is right or wrong to be part of any religion — indeed, that varies among individuals. Some people seem to be quite happy in their religion, and receive a great deal of comfort from their beliefs. Others seem to have no need for religion at all. Still others join a religion because they perceive it will bring some sort of benefit to them, be it financial, physical, or spiritual.

The main reason that religion is a “hot potato” subject is because some people feel it is their right, or their duty, to impose their religious beliefs on others. They believe that their beliefs are the correct ones, and that those who don’t believe as they do are wrong, or even evil. It’s actually not too dissimilar from the way a member of one political party might see it as their right or duty to convince others that their party is right, and the other party is evil. Those who don’t share those views generally don’t appreciate being told they are wrong!

At the heart of it, most traditional religion is based in part on fear. On a spiritual level, the fear is that you will not measure up to the expectations of deity, or some “higher power”. On a more pragmatic level, the fear is often that if you can’t force others to adopt your beliefs, they might impose their beliefs on you. Wars have been fought because of the underlying fear that we have to kill them before they kill us. It’s only in relatively recent times that a majority of people have started to understand that it’s possible for people of varying beliefs to coexist peacefully, and unfortunately there are still many people that don’t seem to understand this.

People who’ve had near-death experiences (NDE’s) have stated that if they asked about religion during their NDE, they were told that the best religion is the one that brings you closest to God. Of course, a person that felt no need for religion probably wouldn’t ask that question in the first place. But there are no reports of anyone having a NDE and being told that they should belong to a specific religion or denomination!

If you don’t belong to any religion now, my advice to you would be to think long and hard, and do some research on the Internet, before you join. Very often, when people are trying to get you to join their religion, they will seem to love you to death and truly care about you, perhaps even more than anyone else in your life has ever cared for you. The problem is that such “love” is almost always both time-limited and conditional. Once you have joined their religion, they will move on to some other hot prospect that they are trying to get to join, and suddenly you’ll no longer feel like the center of their attention. But worse yet, their love may well be conditional on you believing the things they teach you (no matter how absurd, ridiculous, or even hateful), and behaving the way they want you to. If you should start to question any of their teachings, you become a “problem” to them, and you will find yourself talked to the way a disapproving parent might talk to a stepchild — or maybe even invited to leave.

If you are already involved in a religion, and you feel that you receive comfort and joy from it, and it encourages you to love others and help them when you can, then maybe the only real reason to consider leaving them is if they try to get you to do things that would hurt others. That could be anything from attempting to impose your beliefs on other people, to hating them because they are not part of your group, or don’t meet up with some standard of morality that your religion attempts to uphold. Those are the very things that have been responsible for starting bloody conflicts in past and recent times. Also, please be aware that some religions are all about power and money — specifically, how much of those they can take from their followers for the benefit of the leaders. If the leaders of the religion are constantly telling people to give money to their organization, while they are living the high life (with nice houses, fancy cars, luxurious vacations, and even air-conditioned doghouses for their pets), then they are using deception to steal from their followers. In a few high profile cases they have gotten in trouble and even spent time in prison for this, but that’s the exception rather than the rule — more often than not, the leaders get away with it and are never brought to justice.

However, even if that’s not the case, it might be a good idea to reflect upon why you belong to that religion from time to time. Think about what caused you to join in the first place. Were your parents members, and they forced you to attend, and it just became habit? Did you join because someone convinced you that you might go to some bad place when you die if you didn’t? Or did you perhaps join because you thought you had found a group of people that truly cared about you? Think about the reasons you joined, and then ask yourself, “If I had known then what I know now, would I still have joined?” And also, “Did I have any expectations of what would happen that have not yet been fulfilled?” In short, does your religion truly bring you closer to God, or your “higher power”, or the Universe, or whatever you consider to be the highest and most loving force in all of creation?

If not, perhaps it’s time to find a spiritual path that more completely resonates with you. People on the “wrong” path (which is to say, in the “wrong” religion) often feel quite unhappy and unfulfilled, and often live in fear that somehow they’ll be subjected to some form of eternal punishment (though they may be quite unwilling to admit such thoughts, even to themselves). They may not enjoy participating in their religion’s rituals, or attending the designated place of worship. They may find prayer or meditation boring, or even infuriating, because they don’t ever see any results (but the religion will say it’s their fault). While these things can happen even to people who haven’t strayed from their path, those who are on the “wrong” path often come to a point where they just can’t continue in their present religion. If they then find the right path for them, they often feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders, and that all the fear and dread that they experienced previously fades away.

For some people, the “right” path for this lifetime may be to not be part of any organized religion. That doesn’t mean that they cannot engage in some form of spiritual practice, such as meditation or prayer. It only means that they do not feel any need to attend, or receive any benefit from attending, formal meetings or going to a designated place of worship. Everyone is different, and what one person may see as an absolute requirement to be true to their beliefs, another person may see as irrelevant or even nonsense. If you try to convert such a person to your beliefs, you’ll just anger them and frustrate yourself — or worse yet, you’ll convince them to join and then regret doing so, because they will be constantly annoying you whenever the religion doesn’t meet their expectations (after all, you got them into this, so you should be the one to hear their complaints!). Even the religions that encourage proselytizing (that is, attempting to induce someone to convert to one’s faith, according to Merriam-Webster) usually recognize that there are people who just cannot be converted, even if they portray such people in an unfavorable light.

I personally think we’d all get along a lot better if we could all “live and let live” when it comes to our religious beliefs. That doesn’t mean we have to condone hate, or abuse, or attempts to control others, but when those things are not an issue, it’s probably best to let people find their own path. Of course, if someone starts asking questions about your faith or beliefs, then perhaps that means that they are destined to share your path for at least part of their journey through this lifetime, and in that case you can certainly answer their questions and share your beliefs. But if it makes you uncomfortable to talk about what you believe, that may be another indication that you’re not on the right path, or that you’re not being true to yourself and what you really believe. Taking time to reflect on what you believe and why you believe it encourages spiritual growth, and shouldn’t be avoided.

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