People with fibromyalgia face many obstacles.
We live with fatigue, brain fog, chronic pain and other symptoms. We work to find ways to manage this syndrome. We seek coping mechanisms. Many fibro patients have overlook the importance of who and what we surround ourselves with.
- This can have a dramatic affect on how we cope.
Conserving energy is an important part to coping with “Fibro Fatigue”. It takes far more energy to deal with negative people. Energy when you don’t have any left to expend.
Let’s look at who we surround ourselves with and the effects on our lives.
People You Should Remove from Your Life
- You have to cut the “downers” the negative people
- You have to cut out the “distractors”
- You have to get rid of “people who play the victim”
- You have to stay away from “know-it-alls”
- You have to dump the “drama queens/kings”
Good and Bad Behavior Is Contagious
One study found that emotions circulate through interpersonal relationships just like the flu virus.
These patterns can actually be tracked statistically just like the flu virus.
- Each positive person you surround yourself with increases your chances of being positive by eleven percent.
- Each negative person you let into your life more than doubles your chances of being negative.
Understanding Why This Happens
A mirror neuron is a cell in your brain that fires both when you act and when you observe another person acting. Interacting with other people engages your mirror neuron system.
This brain mechanism causes you to copy other people whether you want to or not. If you spend enough time with anyone, no matter who it is, you will start to mimic their behavior.
This means you need to start cutting negative people out of your life right now.
Here is a short 2 minute video
explaining mirror neurons
Here are five types of people
to start avoiding now!
# 1 The “Downer”
Some people can walk into a room and light it up. Other people walk into a room and kill it.
- Downers Are Those That Kill Positive Energy
They are those people who seem to have a dark cloud following them wherever they go. These people are unlucky, negative and always depressed.
Don’t feel bad for these people. Odds are:
They like being miserable
They like the attention it gives them
You must drop unhappy people from your life. Why?
Because your happiness and your physical health depends on it. Research shows that being exposed to negative people pulls away neurons in your hippocampus. This is the part of your brain that is responsible for problem solving. This means that negative people literally rot your brain
Stop hanging out with people who suck away your energy
#2 Avoid Distracting People
Distractors come in a variety of flavors
- There are those annoying people who drive you nuts.
- People who make you focus on them instead of focusing on yourself and your mission.
Distractors are also those people that are truly amazing or really hot or incredibly brilliant.]
- Those people who catch your eye for one reason or another.
- Distractors make you forget about your goals and everything that you’ve set out to do in life.
A lot of promising futures
have been sacrificed to these distractors.
Some people drop out of school or quit a job they love, just to be closer to a distracting person. This allows them stay in that distracting relationship.
Others get hooked on celebrity gossip or get rich quick schemes
- Everything that glitters is not always gold.
- Most shiny things are just distractions and this can include people.
Don’t let any person make you forget that you are amazing – and that you have something amazing to offer the world.
#3 Stay Away from People Who Play the Victim
Don’t know how to identify a victim?
Here’s what you look for:
- Look for people who preach self-sacrifice
- Look for people who try to make you feel guilty for your strengths
- Look for people who try to make you feel guilty for your accomplishments
- Look for people who try to make you feel bad just because they are feeling bad
- Masters of positioning themselves on the moral high ground
- Using obligation to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.
- People who like to make you feel responsible for their happiness.
No one is responsible for someone else’s happiness
#4 Stay away from know-it-alls
Know-it-alls are those people who will never let you live down past mistakes. They bring you down by using the psychological phenomenons of “Imposter Syndrome” and “Negativity Bias.”
Imposter Syndrome is describe as the inability to internalize your own accomplishments. It’s that voice in your head that creeps up every now and then telling you that you’re a phony and it’s only a matter of time until people find out.
Negativity Bias on the other hand refers to your brains preference for negative information over positive information.
- Never allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself.
- Don’t let some” Know-it-All” use these techniques against you.
- Focus on where you are now. Not on your past mistakes.
#5 Refuse to be around drama queens.
Drama queens/kings are those people who love conflict. They are addicted to drama and to winning arguments no matter the cost. Even if there’s nothing to be won. Drama queens love drama for the sake of drama.
- They don’t want to win or find a solution they just want the drama.
- Their minds are simple and their lives are boring.
- The only way they can fill a sense of purpose in life is by creating drama.
- Don’t let these people suck you into their drama.
Any time you spend trying to correct or even understand a drama queen is a waste of time. You are better off ignoring these people period.
The term “Journey of Self-discovery” refers to a series of events whereby a person attempts to determine how they feel about spiritual issues or priorities, rather than following the opinions of family, friends or peer pressure.
Self-discovery is the capacity of humans to exercise introspection,
The willingness to learn more about their fundamental
nature and purpose.
If the only emotion concepts you recognize are “I feel good” and “I feel bad” you’re not going to be very emotionally healthy. But, if you’re able to distinguish the more specific “I feel alone” from merely “I feel bad” you’re able to deal with the problem.
Examining your life under a microscope can be uncomfortable and gruesome.
You will be grateful for starting the process of self discovery, because rewards unfold when you know more about yourself. Understand how you make improvements to your behavior, thoughts and emotions. Uncovering answers will help peel off layer-by-layer the negative thoughts that have imprinted in your mind. These negative thoughts and beliefs are your obstacles to inner growth.
You’ve probably never thought about learning words as a path to greater emotional health.
Words Seed Your Concepts
Concepts Drive Your Predictions
Predictions Regulate Your Body
Your Body Determines How You Feel.
The greater your vocabulary
the more precisely your brain can calibrate your body’s needs.
People who exhibit higher emotional expression
- Go to the doctor less frequently
- Use medication less frequently
- Spend fewer days hospitalized for illness
[Tweet “The greater your vocabulary, the more precisely your brain can calibrate your body’s needs”]
This insight is directly connected to your relationship with others. Most importantly it’s also connected to our relationship with the Universe (God). What we believe about the Universe (God) and it’s expectations for us is vital to what we believe about ourselves.
Self discovery is not an a one day or a one week affair.
It can take a lifetime of building a relationship with yourself. Note that your inner self is not going to stay constant either. You are evolving all the time. Based on your self discovery at any point in time, you make conscious decisions for changes. Additionally, as you mature, you gain insights that make up the new you.
Self-discovery is about being mindful of who you really are, instead of what culture says you should be.
It is important to ask yourself what you want out of life and work towards it. Aligning with your soul’s’ purpose brings about fulfilment. Without a purpose and direction, you are going to feel like a ship which is going nowhere. I can assure you that if you don’t go through this process of evaluation on what your purpose is, you are going to experience regret while on your deathbed.
You need to confront your emotional issues and weaknesses
because they reveal the separation from the real you.
The real you is authentic, loving and nurturing. The process of self discovery is not just about unearthing nasty stuff about yourself. It is about honoring your strengths and abilities. As you become more aware of what you are good at, you lessen the list on weaknesses.
Learn to forgive yourself.
Negative beliefs tend to invade every aspect of your life. If you have feelings of low self worth, then you are likely to carry them in the relationships you have at home, in the office, with your friends, relatives and loved ones.
You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. When your outer self is aligned with your inner being, you will feel happy and free!
- Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
- When in doubt, just take the next small step.
- Life is too short not to enjoy it.
- Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
- Don’t buy stuff you don’t need..
- You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
- Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
- It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
- Save for things that matter.
- When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
- Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
- It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
- Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
- If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
- Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
- Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
- Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
- Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
- It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
- When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
- Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
- Overprepare, then go with the flow.
- Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
- The most important sex organ is the brain.
- No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
- Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
- Always choose Life.
- Forgive but don’t forget.
- What other people think of you is none of your business.
- Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
- However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
- Believe in miracles.
- God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
- Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
- Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
- Your children get only one childhood.
- All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
- Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
- If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
- Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
- The best is yet to come…
- No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
- Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.