Behavior Is Contagious – Especially With Fibromyalgia

People with fibromyalgia face many obstacles.

We live with fatigue, brain fog, chronic pain and other symptoms. We work to find ways to manage this syndrome. We seek coping mechanisms. Many fibro patients have overlook the importance of who and what we surround ourselves with.

  • This can have a dramatic affect on how we cope.

Conserving energy is an important part to coping with “Fibro Fatigue”. It takes far more energy to deal with negative people. Energy when you don’t have any left to expend.

Let’s look at who we surround ourselves with and the effects on our lives.

People You Should Remove from Your Life

  1. You have to cut the “downers” the negative people
  2. You have to cut out the “distractors”
  3. You have to get rid of “people who play the victim”
  4. You have to stay away from “know-it-alls”
  5. You have to dump the “drama queens/kings”

Neuroscience 101
Good and Bad Behavior Is Contagious

One study found that emotions circulate through interpersonal relationships just like the flu virus.

These patterns can actually be tracked statistically just like the flu virus.

  • Each positive person you surround yourself with increases your chances of being positive by eleven percent.
  • Each negative person you let into your life more than doubles your chances of being negative.

Understanding Why This Happens

A mirror neuron is a cell in your brain that fires both when you act and when you observe another person acting.  Interacting with other people engages your mirror neuron system. 

This brain mechanism causes you to copy other people whether you want to or not. If you spend enough time with anyone, no matter who it is, you will start to mimic their behavior.

This means you need to start cutting negative people out of your life right now.

Here is a short 2 minute video
explaining mirror neurons

Here are five types of people
to start avoiding now!

# 1 The “Downer”

Some people can walk into a room and light it up. Other people walk into a room and kill it.

  • Downers Are Those That Kill Positive Energy

They are those people who seem to have a dark cloud following them wherever they go. These people are unlucky, negative and always depressed.

Don’t feel bad for these people. Odds are:

They like being miserable
WHY?
They like the attention it gives them

You must drop unhappy people from your life. Why?

Because your happiness and your physical health depends on it. Research shows that being exposed to negative people pulls away neurons in your hippocampus. This is the part of your brain that is responsible for problem solving. This means that negative people literally rot your brain

Stop hanging out with people who suck away your energy

#2 Avoid Distracting People

Distractors come in a variety of flavors

  • There are those annoying people who drive you nuts.
  • People who make you focus on them instead of focusing on yourself and your mission.

Distractors are also those people that are truly amazing or really hot or incredibly brilliant.]

  • Those people who catch your eye for one reason or another.
  • Distractors make you forget about your goals and everything that you’ve set out to do in life.

A lot of promising futures
have been sacrificed to these distractors.

Some people drop out of school or quit a job they love, just to be closer to a distracting person. This allows them stay in that distracting relationship.

Others get hooked on celebrity gossip or get rich quick schemes

  • Everything that glitters is not always gold.
  • Most shiny things are just distractions and this can include people.

Don’t let any person make you forget that you are amazing – and that you have something amazing to offer the world.

#3 Stay Away from People Who Play the Victim

Don’t know how to identify a victim?

Here’s what you look for:

  • Look for people who preach self-sacrifice
  • Look for people who try to make you feel guilty for your strengths
  • Look for people who try to make you feel guilty for your accomplishments
  • Look for people who try to make you feel bad just because they are feeling bad

Victims are:

  • Masters of positioning themselves on the moral high ground
  • Using obligation to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.
  • People who like to make you feel responsible for their happiness.

No one is responsible for someone else’s happiness

#4 Stay away from know-it-alls

Know-it-alls are those people who will never let you live down past mistakes. They bring you down by using  the psychological phenomenons of “Imposter Syndrome” and “Negativity Bias.”

Imposter Syndrome is describe as the inability to internalize your own accomplishments. It’s that voice in your head that creeps up every now and then telling you that you’re a phony and it’s only a matter of time until people find out.

Negativity Bias on the other hand refers to your brains preference for negative information over positive information.

  • Never allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself.
  • Don’t let some” Know-it-All” use these techniques against you.
  • Focus on where you are now. Not on your past mistakes.

#5 Refuse to be around drama queens.

Drama queens/kings are those people who love conflict. They are addicted to drama and to winning arguments no matter the cost. Even if there’s nothing to be won. Drama queens love drama for the sake of drama.

  • They don’t want to win or find a solution they just want the drama.
  • Their minds are simple and their lives are boring.
  • The only way they can fill a sense of purpose in life is by creating drama.
  • Don’t let these people suck you into their drama.

Any time you spend trying to correct or even understand a drama queen is a waste of time. You are better off ignoring these people period.

Related posts

Links To Think #010 – CAM Edition

11 Impressive Health Benefits and Uses of Rosemary Oil and Leaves - FinerMinds
Rosemary is a fragrant, perennial herb which is native to the Mediterranean region. This herb’s needle-like leaves have plenty of health benefits and people have been using it for plenty of medical uses for centuries. The oil is extracted from rosemary is one of…
How Root Canals Could Severely Affect Your Health
When you hear the term ‘root canal’ the majority of us automatically resort to thoughts of the pain that we have either directly experienced or vicariously heard to be associated with the procedure. In the United States alone, over 25 million root canals are performed annually and as a result are…
3 Unusual Ways To Increase Human Energy According To Nikola Tesla…
Human being and life itself needs energy. We live our lives, trying to save our energy and we are constantly being torn apart between being productive and fatigue. Every time we are asked, and it is needed from us to do more, we tend to feel tired and overwhelmed, desperately wanting for whatever…
Important Secrets Your Tongue Reveals About Your Health
Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed that your tongue is a weird color or happens to have a strange-looking coating? It is important to take notes on these changes because your tongue may just be trying to tell you something about your health.
Herbal tea-What are the health benefits?
In a quest to ease pressures on the Brazilian prison system, mental health workers have opted to give prison inmates the psychedelic brew ayahuasca, in the hopes of helping them to work through their deeply-rooted emotional traumas. It is no secret that the current prison system lies in shambles.
Herbal tea-What are the health benefits?
Different types of teas can be steeped from plant parts for consumption as healthy drink. However, make sure your herbal tea mixtures only contain non-toxic plants. Flowers: Full blooms, flower buds, petals, fresh or dried, can be used in the preparation of flowering or blooming herbal teas.
Herbal tea-What are the health benefits?
New research from Nigeria shows how virgin coconut oil can have protective health benefits due to its high amounts of antioxidants. One study looked at the effect of virgin coconut oil when supplemented in a diet high in consumption of heated vegetable oils, and how virgin coconut oil protected the…
What Depression Does To The Structure of Your Brain & How You Can Change It Back
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), approximately 400 million people, of all ages, suffer from depression, making it the leading cause of disability worldwide. This is a massive target market for pharmaceutical companies, and that’s no secret. There are huge profits to be had, and…
A Coconut Butter and Maca Steamer to Beat Away the Winter Blues
Wrap your hands around this mug of pure goodness made with maca powder, coconut butter, cinnamon, almond butter, and coconut milk to keep warm and nourished all winter long.
6 Health And Beauty Benefits Of Oregano Oil
Oregano is a treat for your tastebuds, but did you know that the herb also offers tons of health benefits? Back in ancient Greece and Rome, people began using oregano to treat health problems, and now we have the scientific research to back up its benefits.
Herbal tea-What are the health benefits?
Curcumin, one of the active ingredients in turmeric, might act as an anti-inflammatory in the brain and help improve memory and attention.
Inflammation Gets Triggered at Certain Times of Day, Finds New Study
A new study reveals that a biological clock protein called Rev-erba is helpful in combating inflammation from hepatitis. Learn more about the study, as well as ways to heal your gut and balance out your circadian rhythms, here.
8 Quick and Easy Meditation Techniques to Calm Your Anxious Mind - Tiny Buddha
Have you ever found it hard to motivate yourself to do something that was good for you, only to eventually do it, feel amazing, and wonder why you waited so long? That’s what meditating was like for me.
Apple Cider Vinegar Isn`t A Fad, It`s an Effective Weight Loss Tool Against Stubborn Belly Fat
Weight loss isn’t easy. It takes dedication and discipline to succeed. There are a lot of “miracle” pills or supplements on the market that claim to help you lose weight, but very few are proven to work effectively.
Fruits and Vegetables Teach Cells to Defend Against Diseases, Study Finds
Eating fruits and vegetables for health is not a novel idea. Fiber, protein, healthy fats, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants — there’s not much room to argue against their benefits in a well-balanced diet. And now there’s even more evidence that regularly eating fresh fruits and vegetables makes a body less prone to some serious diseases.
created in Publicate

Related posts

Reclaiming Your Sexuality

Bringing Sexy Back

If you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while (perhaps due to divorce) and are thinking about entering a new relationship, or have found that your relationship has become sexless, the idea of having a sexual encounter can be very exciting, but also very nerve-racking. It’s easy to lose touch with your sexual self, and it’s important to give your body and mind permission to feel pleasure and reawaken your sexuality. Here are a few suggestions to help you feel more sexual and open to the possibility of experiencing renewed sexual pleasure:

Be open to the possibility that some of your concerns about sex might be quite overblown.

First, list the things that worry you most about reclaiming your sexuality or that you are fearing right now about sex. Once you’ve made your list, it’s important to see if your fears and anxieties are realistic. If not, make a commitment to yourself to replace unrealistic beliefs with ones that serve you. For example, if you write: “I worry my sexual partner might not find me attractive,” replace that with, “this person is expressing interest in being intimate with me, so where’s the evidence that he/she is not attracted to me?” Practice catching yourself every time you find yourself focusing on one of your worrisome beliefs and replace it with a thought that’s not fear based.

How you feel about your body often affects your ability to feel excited about sex. 

Make another list of the things that you’re not happy with about your body. Notice the things you’re ready, willing and able to alter and those which are beyond your control. Instead of concentrating on how your body could be different, see if you can shift your focus to changing your attitude about your body insecurities instead. Usually, no one else is noticing those “flaws” you see but you!

Feeling attractive is most of the battle.

Much of your sexuality comes from how you think of yourselfas a sexual being. So if you do things to feel sexier, you’re giving your mind the opportunity to catch up with you. Maybe this means putting on a sexy outfit, wearing lingerie underneath your clothing, or putting on a little extra makeup. Perhaps getting pampered in some way, sleeping with satin sheets, taking a bubble bath, or reading a steamy book can help you to hit the right chord. You know what makes you feel sexier, do it and notice whether this helps with your reawakening.

When you are involved in any activity, sexual or not, it can be very pleasant to focus on the sensory experiences around you. 

For example, if you are taking a walk, tune into the sounds of nature around you, become aware of the crunch of leaves under your feet, feel the breeze on your skin and take notice of the way your body feels as you take each step. Becoming more aware of experiencing sensuously pleasurable moments in your daily life can go a long way toward helping you to stay present and attuned to your sensory experience during sex.

Your sexuality is a part of you, even if it has felt dormant for a while.

With some effort to reconnect with your sexual desires and by refusing to let your fears and anxieties get in the way, you can very quickly open yourself to many new, exciting and pleasurable experiences!

Related posts

Learn to Understand Your Own Intelligence

Several years ago I listened to a lecture on cognition that changed the way I think about intelligence. This is the crux. There are two types of cognition. The first is normal cognition. This is the ability to retrieve knowledge from memory. When you are asked a question on a test and produce an answer, that’s a display of cognitive ability. The second type of cognition is metacognition; the ability to know whether or not you know.

Have you ever been asked a question that you knew the answer to, but you couldn’t find the right word? This is called the “tip of the tongue” phenomenon and I’m sure we’ve all experienced it. You know that you know the answer, but you fail to produce it. If someone said an answer, you would know instantly if it was correct or not. In these cases metacognition exists without cognition.

In short, cognition is knowing, metacognition is knowing if you know or not. Both can exist together, but many times they don’t.

How Does this Affect Intelligence?

So what importance does this have and how is it relevant to self improvement? The fact that there are two different kinds of cognitive ability means that there are different types of intelligence.

In traditional education, intelligence is measured by cognitive ability. For some people this is works well. They can easily produce everything they know on a test. But for others it doesn’t work out so well. The people that know something cold but can’t find the right words on a test are awarded with poor grades and considered inferior.

But does this inability make them any less intelligent? They know the answer. If the question came up on a task, they could refer to a book or a quick Google search. In reality they’re just as effective as the people that aced the test. They just can’t prove it as easily.

The Importance of Knowing what you know

Unless you’re taking a test or playing Jeopardy, metacognition is more important to success than cognition. In real life, when you’re faced with a question the first decision is whether you know the answer or not. With strong metacognitive ability this is easy. If you know the answer, but can’t come up with it, you can always do a bit of research. If you know for sure that you don’t know, then you can start educating yourself. Because you’re aware of your ignorance, you don’t act with foolish confidence. The person who thinks they know something that they really don’t makes the worst decisions.

A person with poor cognitive ability, but great metacognitive ability is actually in great shape. They might do poorly in school, but when faced with a challenge they understand their abilities and take the best course of action. These people might not seem intelligent at first glance, but because they know what they know, they make better decisions and learn the most important things.

Clever but mediocre people

At the opposite end of the spectrum are people with great cognitive ability but poor metacognitive ability. These people are proclaimed geniuses at a young age for acing every test and getting great SAT scores. Unfortunately, they’ve been ruined by poor metacognition; they think they know everything but they really don’t. They are arrogant, fail to learn from mistakes, and don’t understand the nuances of personal relationships; showing disdain for persons with lower cognitive ability.

So who is superior? In a battle of wits the higher cognitive ability prevails, but life is not a single encounter. It is a series of experiments in succession, each building upon the last. Learning requires knowing what you don’t know, and taking steps to learn what you need to. People with poor metacognitive ability never realize that they don’t ‘get it’. They also don’t realize what’s important.

This doesn’t preclude them from material success. But, perhaps that’s a poor measurement of intelligence as well. There are many people who become rich and successful by their cleverness and cognitive ability, but as human beings are quite mediocre. Is the man that makes a million dollars, but is cruel and abusive to his employees and family, really more intelligent than the poor man who lives a modest and loving life? I don’t intend to demonize wealth, only to state that it should not be the measure of virtue.

Use your metacognitive ability

So what do we know and what do we not? And how can we tell the difference? There is so much to know in the world that the most brilliant human minds can grasp only the tiniest fraction. For this reason we should always be in doubt of what we know. The closed mind is oblivious to its surroundings, while the open mind absorbs them. Like a sponge, it soaks up observations, becoming fuller and more robust.

But we can’t live in total doubt. If we did we would never act, paralyzed by our inadequate knowledge. We must trust our intuition. If something makes you feel a certain way, that feeling is real and must be respected. Act based on your own convictions, not those of others, and keep an open ear for new ideas.

The most important mental power is the ability to know what you don’t know. The recognition of a fault is the first step to improvement. Don’t try to hide a lack of knowledge. People will see through it and you’ll appear foolish and arrogant. If you admit your ignorance, people will help you learn and respect your humility. For intelligent people this is the toughest lesson to learn. We are used to being right, and consider being wrong shameful. We’re afraid to lose status by looking stupid. This vain arrogance is a great weakness and the source of many problems. To crush it and embrace humility is the mark of true wisdom.

Related posts