Executive dysfunction is a term for the range of cognitive, emotional and behavioural difficulties which often occur after injury to the frontal lobes of the brain. Impairment of executive functions is common after traumatic brain injury and/or chronic illness. It has a profound effect on many aspects of everyday life.
My irritation and anxiety are heightened by Executive Dysfunction.
The thought of attempting to persuade myself for hours on end to complete a tiny 10-minute activity makes me sick to my stomach.
Whenever I have to bribe myself into spending just a few minutes cleaning, it makes me angry and frustrated.
The feeling of knowing that I should do something but not being able to bring myself to do it annoys me, and the effects of knowing that I should do something but not being able to bring myself to do it angers me even more..
Being stressed out about all of the things that need to be done is something I detest. When I am unable to push myself to accomplish responsibilities, it is really disappointing. I utterly despise that feeling of disappointment. As if you were a misbehaving adult who had failed. It’s as if you’re living a life that didn’t work out.
What I despise about this is that I know things need to be done and that I just need to get on with it, but doing those things is tough, and I end up sitting in anxiety instead.
I hate this.
I hate putting shit off but this is my life…