How Come People Say They Are Sorry But Their Behavior Doesn’t Change?
This is the best example of a fake apology.
As for why, it depends on the situation, but there’s usually more than one reason. When you say you’re sorry, the most important thing to remember is acknowledge all the ways your actions may have made other people feel bad or uncomfortable, as well as any regrets you may have for those things.
Here are a few more specific examples:
- They might be lying to themselves or to others, telling themselves and others things to keep doing what they’re doing without getting caught.
- It’s normal to want to look like you did nothing wrong and to want the problem to go away. This can’t go on forever, because without help, things will get worse.
- They might not even know what they did wrong, so when they say they’re sorry, it doesn’t seem real.
- They might keep doing these things because they are too proud or mean, even though it hurts them or other people.
- I’m not even sure they know what they did, but they do feel bad about how it made you feel. They don’t think what they did was wrong, which is confusing to them, but they do care how it made you feel.
Anger Without A Reason
If the person who is sorry doesn’t know why they’re sorry or to whom they’re sorry, it’s up to the person who was hurt to tell the person who is sorry what went wrong so that their apology is appropriate.
But if the person who was hurt doesn’t talk to the person who hurt them, the problem usually doesn’t get fixed.
When a guy doesn’t know what he did wrong, he is one of the most common examples of anger without a reason. That’s because he usually doesn’t notice that she’s changed, like getting new hair, makeup, or perfume.
But if the man does notice, he often doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t think it’s important. Most of the time, we think it’s nothing important and move on.
Trying to change the bad behavior won’t work unless the person who hurt them in the first place tells them what they said or did that hurt them. They don’t know enough about them to understand why they feel that way.
They Can’t Change The Way They Act.
They can also be used to do bad things like make people mad and get away with it without getting in trouble. For instance, how we were raised and what we’ve done in life can affect how we act.
People sometimes say they’re sorry for things they can’t change just to make someone else feel better.
There are medical and mental disorders that can’t be fixed, but people with them often apologize a lot for things they can’t change because they don’t want to get hurt or hurt other people more.
People Don’t Want To Change
When someone is addicted to something, they might not want to look for safer or healthier alternatives. So, whenever they have to say sorry or feel like they have to say sorry for a choice they made that now has them stuck, they have no choice but to feel like addicts and take the hit, even though they know it hurts as much as it helps.
But in this case, they might say they’d rather keep using because it’s easier than giving up and quitting hurts them. Also, it gives them something to do or helps them relax.
So they’ll say they’re sorry for how you see them and what they’ve done, but that doesn’t mean anything has changed.
People Can Be Taught To Apologize Even When They Don’t Mean It
This kind of bad behavior happens too often in homes where people are abused or ignored. Abuse can happen at any age, but it is more likely to happen to younger people than to older people. They say sorry because that’s what they’ve learned to do in certain situations.
- What is your daddy doing? Is he still irritated? Why does he drink so much liquor? He could get mad at mommy or you and hit you. You should apologize so you don’t hurt yourself.
- When you stole and ate candy from the corner store, you did something wrong, but you only had to say sorry. You still got to eat the candy and only had to say one sentence, so you might do it again even if you know it could get you in trouble.
- My wife is upset with me and wants me to say sorry, but I have no idea why. If saying I’m sorry will get her off my back and keep our marriage together, I’ll say it, but she won’t tell me why she’s mad at me.
To Give A Real Apology
Most people who say they are sorry don’t change their behavior and are only sorry that they hurt someone or made them feel a certain way.
Most apologies won’t be taken seriously unless they explain what happened, say how the problem will be fixed, and show that the person is sorry for what happened.
To give a real apology, a person needs to…
- feel bad about what they did and how it turned out
- Try hard not to do it again
It can be hard to say you’re sorry for something you didn’t know you did or didn’t mean to do.
This is because they can’t change the story, and most of the time, they can’t do anything to make it seem more real. But, unfortunately, everyone thinks they should say they’re sorry even when they don’t mean it.
It doesn’t solve anything or make anything better, but it does make people feel better. Most of the time, these fake apologies are used to calm feelings of pride, jealousy, power, or control.
When someone begs me to forgive them, it’s hard for me not to feel strong. I agree that it’s wrong when someone does something just to hurt your pride or make you feel jealous (or immoral). This is what society teaches us, and it’s a problem for most of us.
Depending on the situation, this could be good or bad. They might say they’re sorry to get rid of one feeling and make room for another.
