The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Love

All kinds of dumb things bounce around TwitterQuotes from famous people. Social media stats. Links to videos. And sometimes, random shit about love.

Speaking of random shit about love, here’s a doozy:

 

This was bouncing around a while ago. I grabbed it in a screenshot, knowing I’d want to write about it, sooner or later.

“If you truly love someone you forgive the unforgivable…”

Really?

Let’s talk about this. First, before it’s possible to have a (coherent) conversation, I think it’s important to acknowledge that “unforgivable” is a word without static meaning. What is unforgivable for you, might not be for me.  And vice versa. Further, what is unforgivable (by me) is likely to change over time. So, unforgivable is a relative thing, at best.

And then, of course, forgiving the unforgivable... If it were actually unforgivable, you wouldn’t be able to forgive it.

But let’s skip that, for now, and focus on the fact that most people (I assume it’s most) have at some point in their life been in a situation where they’ve forgiven someone they loved for a previously unforgivable act.

I’ve certainly done it.  And believe me, some of the unforgivable things I’ve forgiven have been ridiculous.

I thought that that was what people did. Forgave. Whatever it was. No matter how ridiculous. How painful and humiliating and utterly demoralizing. Forgiveness was a sign that my feelings were true and real. Proof that I was passing some kind of bizarre cosmic test.

Which is all really a load of crap. Some things shouldn’t be forgiven. Some people don’t deserve it. Neither our love or our forgiveness. And attempting to prove, to them or to the universe, that we are worthy by forgiving their nonsense is nothing but a sign of foolishness.

I think.

Or maybe I just don’t get it. Whatever it is

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