When I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, it is a gradual and excruciating process. What lies ahead for me is a lifetime of chronic agony and mind-numbing exhaustion. There is nothing I can do to change what is ahead for me. My world is a deluded lie, made up by a monster whose prime objective has always been, and continues to be, power and full domination over me.
— Thom
What’s the Big Deal?
Due to the lessons our abuser has instilled in us, we have a strong tendency to criticize or dismiss any positive steps we take. It is true that Fibromyalgia always moves the goal line! Expectations are always shifting and you will never be able to live up to them.
One of the most important things I have discovered that appreciating anything that I may have perceived as a failure was essential to my healing.
Did you forget to get out of your pajamas today?
What’s the big deal?
You embraced your family with a warm look and a strong hug.
Didn’t get around to doing the dishes?
What’s the big deal?
You prepared a delicious meal.
Are you running late to soccer practice?
What’s the big deal?
You were there for your child and were fully present.
Take Yourself on Dates
Dates that are real. Dates that are alone. Things you used to love doing but had to abandon because your abuser despised them, forbade you from doing them, or rushed you through them so that you didn’t get to enjoy them at all. You will need to come back in touch with who you were before the abuse taught you that anything was wrong. This is essential to your recovery process. Perhaps you need to discover for the first time what you enjoy and don’t like about yourself.
There’s a whole wide world waiting for you out there! Don’t go into something with a specific goal in mind. Just go and see whether you enjoy it. There is nothing more precious than spending quality time with one’s own company.
Take Care of Your Health
What I don’t mean is that you should go on a diet or start working out because you believe you need to be in the dating pool. Improve your sleeping habits. Eat healthier. Enjoy life without relying on crutches such as food rewards or drowning your sorrows in ice cream.
A significant reason for this piece of advice is that your body is probably sick in ways you aren’t even aware of. Nothing will impair your decision-making abilities more quickly than being chronically exhausted or hungry. You must improve your mental clarity as well as your physical strength. This is only possible if you refrain from eating pizza and instead focus on eating fresh fruits and vegetables, getting plenty of rest and water, and incorporating regular physical activity into your daily routine.
Life of My Dreams
It is through self-care that you will be able to recover your soul, learn to dance with it, and send it out into the world to live joyously, it is the most important part of your healing process.
I am certain that these things are necessary guideposts on the path to healing and that they are well worth the time and effort. Because I gained a better understanding of myself via self-care, I am better prepared to find and maintain the life of my dreams.
